Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding and important roles a person can enter into in life. Because a child's needs, demands and stages of development are constantly changing, it can be challenging for parents to know if they are on the right course for raising a healthy, well-adjusted child. Through honing in on a few skills, parents can develop a parenting style that provides solid foundations for their children.
Define Your Values
Knowing what values you want to instill in your child is a critical first step in raising a child. Do you want your child to be creative, independent, thoughtful of others, mannerly? Author and educator Jay Davidson asks, "What are the values that your family holds? Taking time to think and talk about them is a way for parents to convey them to their children. This communication also engenders a sense of belonging to the group, as all the members work toward the same goals." Once you know what to foster in your child, you can begin modeling those attributes and teaching them to your child.
Be Consistent
Consistency is key in developing skills in children. Family counselor Hellen Williams states, "As a parenting educator and family counselor with many years experience in observing behavioral problems it is apparent to me that many parents who struggle to maintain peaceful children and calm households live with inconsistency, unpredictability and few boundaries and limits." By providing helpful opportunities and continuously rewarding a child's successful attempts at developing positive attributes, he will improve.
Learn About Parenting
Take a class. Child development courses are frequently offered at community colleges. Some school districts and community centers also offer classes on parenting skills. Join a group such as a Mommy and Me class where you can meet other parents and learn parenting skills. The more you learn, the better equipped you will feel to raise a happy, healthy child.
Work Together with Your Spouse
You will be more successful in child rearing if you and your spouse agree on basic values and how to instill them in your child. When partners differ in their approaches or boundaries, it can be confusing to a child. Sit down and map out what values and priorities you have for your family and how you will approach developing those attributes in your child. Be sure to include your beliefs about positive reinforcement and discipline.
Praise Your Child
Most psychologists agree that developing a child's self-esteem is vital to raising a child who can assume responsibility, become independent and ultimately become a productive adult. Psychologists at the Child Development Institute say, "Parents, more than anyone else, can promote their child's self-esteem. It isn't a particularly difficult thing to do. If fact, most parents do it without even realizing that their words and actions have great impact on how their child or teenager feels about himself." Praise your child's efforts. He may not be in first place, but he deserves praise for earnestly trying to do a task.
Be a Role Model
Parents set the example through their own actions as to how to handle situations and cope with life. By demonstrating such things as determination through tough times, grace under pressure and self-sufficiency, you can model for your child the skills needed to eventually become an independent, productive adult. As Janis R. Cohen, Licensed Social Worker and author, states, "Think about what you want your children to learn from you and what you want them to pass down to their children. Then, make sure they see you live your life as you wish them to live theirs."
Communicate with Your Child
Take time to talk with and listen to your child. It is important not to interrupt your child and to listen between the lines. Your child will learn that he can talk to you and that you will reasonably listen and respond. By developing good communication skills when your child is young, you will enable him to be more confident about talking to you when he is older and the challenges he faces are greater.
