Strong relationships, whether between spouses, co-workers or family members, are built upon communication and trust, and many people experience problems as a result of miscommunication or lack of communication. To improve your relationships with peers and loved ones, you can employ some basic communicative techniques that will boost your talking and listening skills.
Assertive Communication
A vital component of effectively communicating with others is asserting your wants and desires. Assertiveness is a style of communicating that allows you to express your thoughts clearly without being overly forceful or aggressive. The assertive person strikes a healthy balance between passive and aggressive forms of communicating. To be assertive, use "I" statements such as "I like," "I feel" or "I don't like." Stay calm and use an even tone of voice that is neither loud nor quiet. Be respectful of the person you are talking to and wait your turn to talk. Many times in the heat of an argument or when talking about feelings, people tend to become impassioned and make statements or accusations that they regret. If you practice calm, assertive communication, you will feel like your needs are heard without causing resentment in others.
Listening Skills
Strong communication is built on active listening skills. When you are talking with your partner, family member or co-worker, listen to what she says, without interrupting. People will be more trusting if you listen to them and are open-minded. Hold off on the judgmental statements and emotional responses. If someone tells you something upsetting, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before responding. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine what she is thinking and how it may be hard to tell you certain things. When you are listening, ask open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to open up more. Paraphrasing her statements and nodding are effective ways to show you are genuinely interested.
Positive Feedback
When you are communicating, convey positive feedback to encourage your partner. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and offering praise is an effective way to do it. Whether you're giving your spouse a compliment, doling out accolades to a co-worker or congratulating your child on a job well done, you'll be strengthening your bond with the other person. In addition, you can encourage behaviors that make you happy by offering positive feedback when the person performs them, which will improve your relationship and make you both happier. Enthusiasm is contagious, and you'll be pleasantly surprised by the praise you generate in return.
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