1. Get to the Core of What's Bothering Out-of-Control Teens
Get to the core of what is bothering your teen to help control her volatile behavior. Often a teen acts out following a tremendous change such as a move, divorce or change of schools. Other core issues are more covert--and teens invariably try to keep them that way. In these situations, a parent needs to communicate with teachers, coaches, siblings and others to identify the problem. Simply being excluded by a group of former friends or being gossiped about can be crushing to teens. Uncovering the root cause of bad behavior is crucial, particularly if it is a serious problem like drug use or an eating disorder.
2. Outline Expectations and Consequences Regarding Behavior
Out-of-control teens need compassion and understanding, but they also need to know the limits of what adults will tolerate. Parents need to carefully outline their expectations about chores, grades and behaviors, as well as the consequences of bad behavior. Put expectations and consequences in writing if you find yourself repeating yourself over and over.
3. Encourage Teens Who Act Out to Journal
One way to help teens get in control of their actions is to get them to journal. Explain the journaling process as a private, concrete way of expressing emotions. If your teen is reluctant to sit down and talk, place a letter inside a blank notebook letting her know you are concerned and want her to write down her worries, fears and other problems. Assure her that it will be left private. Don't snoop! Your teen will find journaling an outlet for frustrations if her privacy is left intact.
4. Redirect Your Child's Focus
Channeling a teen's energy into positive outlets can greatly improve negative behavior. Help your teen find ways to become involved in structured activities. Even if he is reluctant, insist he become involved in one extracurricular activity. Do not choose it for him. Make sure, even if he balks, that he picks the activity and sticks with it for at least a semester. If your teen is exhibiting extreme behavior that bars him from activities, consider giving him a couple of choices of highly structured activities run by experts who work with troubled teens.
