According to "The Compact Oxford English Dictionary," communicating is defined as "the sharing or exchanging of information and ideas." Almost everything that we do in life involves communication in one form or another. Whether you are involved in a business meeting or a relationship discussion, communication is the most essential component of any interpersonal relationship. Because it is the key to interpersonal interaction, improving your communication skills is one of the most important things you can decide to do.
Improving Communication Skills
Step 1
Learn to be an active listener. When most people are involved in a conversation, they are not listening to what the other person is saying. Instead, they are usually thinking about what they are going to say next. The next time you are involved in a conversation, try to make a conscious effort to truly listen to what is being said. Techniques such as mirroring and reflective listening, in which you reflect back to another person what she has just said using clarifying statements such as, "If I am hearing you correctly, what you are saying is...", are useful in avoiding miscommunication and show that you have genuine interest in the other person.
Step 2
Learn to effectively communicate your needs. In most relationships, be they with friends, family, coworkers or even business associates, people subconsciously assume that the other person knows what they are thinking or what they want. Relationship therapist Harville Hendrix's theory of a "conscious marriage," in which one of the top 10 characteristics is "taking responsibility for communicating your needs and desires to your partner," is also applicable to family relationships and friendships as well as in business settings. Try to be specific when you are communicating needs, ideas or explanations. If you generally feel uncomfortable when having to communicate with others, joining an organization such as Toastmasters can help overcome some of the fears associated with speaking or public communication.
Step 3
Become attuned to nonverbal communication. Being consciously attuned to another person's body language during a conversation not only shows that you are on the same level, but that you are truly interested in what is being said. Likewise, you can often tell what kind of mood someone is in based on body language. If you are in a discussion with your spouse, for example, and they suddenly cross their arms or legs, they are responding in a defensive or self-protective manner. Perhaps this can alert you to something you've said or can provide you with an opportunity to clarify a misperception. Similarly, subconscious actions such as leaning away from someone or looking around the room can be indications of disinterest. Learning to read body language can be a helpful skill in improving communication.
References
- "Getting the Love You Want: A Handbook for Couples"; Harville Hendrix, PhD; 1988
- Compact Oxford English Dictionary: Communicate
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