1. Let Teens Know the Consequences
Your teen deserves to know how he will be punished for breaking rules. Consequences need to be made clear at the outset. For instance, let him know if he neglects his chores during the week, he will be staying home that weekend. Explain that it is his choice whether or not to follow rules and that you can't be blamed if he makes the wrong choice. If he reacts by telling you your punishment is unfair, remind him that he knew about it ahead of time.
2. Make Punishments Realistic and Effective
During the heat of the moment, it's common for parents to announce a harsh or overbearing punishment. If your son comes home with a C- after repeatedly ignoring your instructions to study, don't lose your temper and tell him you're taking away his concert tickets or his spot on the soccer team. Later, when you've cooled down, you may realize there is no way you're going to keep him from seeing a concert you paid $60 for or force him to give up sports. Now, you'll have to rescind the punishment. It's best to avoid this situation, since it confuses him and makes you seem weak.
3. Follow Through With Punishments
Though it would be wonderful to have the wisdom always to make good choices, there will inevitably be times when you would like to take back a particular punishment. This usually occurs when you make the punishment in haste or realize it's too harsh. Despite tears or angry recriminations from your teen, however, it's important to follow through with your word. He needs to know you are serious about enforcing consequences. Not only does following through illustrate the seriousness with which you take his behavior, but it also gives him the comfort of knowing there are true limits in his world to keep things from spiraling out of control.
