1. Provide Choices
Around two years of age, most children exhibit a growing sense of independence. You'll notice this when your child becomes annoyed with your help while doing simple tasks or insists on doing something on his own. Possessiveness with toys and other objects is also a sign your child is becoming an individual. While some might find this behavior jarring (hence, "the terrible twos"), it is a perfectly normal and healthy part of growing up. When appropriate, you should acquiesce to this behavior and even encourage it.
Teach your child how to be independent by providing age-appropriate choices. At first, it's best to limit choices to one of two things, such as which fruit she wants to eat, apples or pears. As your child gets older, you can allow her to make more complicated decisions, such as picking out her own clothes. Giving your child some control over her life will foster confidence and independence.
2. Establish a Bedtime Routine
Learning to fall asleep alone can be challenging for children, but it is an essential part of becoming independent. Your child needs to learn that he can soothe himself, and that he doesn't need you to fall asleep. If you have been sitting with your child while he falls asleep or allowing your child to sleep with you in your bed, it can be difficult to break the pattern. Still, you must do it for his sake and your own.
A healthy bedtime routine makes it easier for a child to go to bed on-time and alone. Start with an unwinding activity like a bath or book. This helps your child settle down. Make a ritual of tucking your child in, giving hugs and kisses and turning out the light for bedtime. Use a night-light if total darkness is too scary for your child. In the beginning, your child may fight the routine and keep getting out of bed. Be consistent and return him to bed without stimulation until he falls asleep. If you are consistent, eventually he will fall asleep on his own without resisting.
3. Don't Do for Your Child What She Can Do for Herself
When you continually do things for your child that she can do on her own, you teach her to be reliant on you. To encourage self-reliance, let her try things on her own, even if she fails. It can be annoying to wait an extra 10 minutes for your child to tie her shoes, but during that time, she is learning a valuable lesson.
Letting your child do things on her own can begin early with self-feeding. Whether she is using her fingers or the proper utensils, self-feeding will teach independence. You may have to clean up the table, the floor and even the ceiling afterwards, but it will be worthwhile in the end.
