Women's views differ on what constitutes infidelity in men. While some consider the man's use of pornography to be a breach of the exclusive sexual relationship, others may draw the line at emotional affairs, and others only consider actual sexual contact outside the relationship to be cheating. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines infidelity as, "unfaithfulness to a moral obligation," whether that obligation is legalized, as in marriage, or simply assumed, as in an exclusive relationship. Although every man is different, there are some signs that may indicate that he's being unfaithful.
Accountability
Psychologist Dr. Betty W. Phillips says, "The most suspicious changes are signs of lying and secrecy, with this new pattern of deception likely indicating the intrusion of an affair relationship into the marriage." Men who cheat look for more time away from a spouse or significant other to devote to the new relationship and often have to lie or make up stories to hide the truth of their whereabouts.
Other telltale signs include spending more time "at work" or engaged in recreational activities. This allows the man to talk to the new love interest on the phone, chat via email or instant messenger, or spend time with her.
A man may also start offering to run errands for his wife, time he can use to contact the new interest. He may also "steal" moments when he and his committed partner are together to make a phone call, send a text, or purchase something intended for the other woman.
Financial
Infidelity often costs money. Signs of infidelity can include unexpected bills for travel, gifts, Internet charges, and restaurants or bars. Some men will open up separate, private accounts so they don't have to be accountable for money spent on their infidelity.
Men may become more generous with their wives to cover for gifts to lovers, or to assuage their guilt. If a man starts giving flowers or gifts for no reason, it could be a sign he's cheating.
Emotional
Cheating requires an expenditure of emotion. Men who are cheating may pull away emotionally from a spouse in order to be emotionally present for another woman. Dr Katherine Clements, PhD, says men who are involved in affairs tend to look for excuses to get away from their spouse or significant other. Additionally, a man who is having an affair may be worried about what he tells different women, so he may become less willing to share his thoughts and feelings. Emotional distance can indicate that a man is involved in some type of infidelity.
Physical
Cheating often requires increased attention to physical appearance and hygiene. Dr. Phillips states that men involved in affairs tend to start dieting or exercising to look better for the other woman. He may frequent the barber more often or even begin coloring his hair to look younger. He may take more notice of his grooming habits, trimming his usually scruffy toenails or clipping unruly nose hair. He may buy new, stylish clothes or change from his usual white briefs to silky boxers. Any sudden, unusual changes to lifelong habits may indicate indiscretion.
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