Adoption not only adds a new member to your family, it also adds a new dynamic to those children already in the family. In some ways, bringing a child into your family through adoption is similar to bringing a new baby home from the hospital, although it does present unique issues, too. You need to understand the many different ways--both good and bad--children are affected by adoption as you make the decision to build your family this way.
Jealousy
Jealousy is normal when any new child enters a family. This is sometimes magnified in adoption because the adopted child may be older and more demanding of a parent's time, and may have behaviors that are annoying to existing children such as taking toys or ruining belongings.
Gaining a Sibling
One of the gifts of adoption is that it can make a biological child a big brother or sister. Having a sibling to grow up with can have a very positive effect on children by not only teaching them about shared experiences and sharing in general, but also just in having a family member with whom to grow up.
Some Negative Behaviors
If you adopt an older child it's possible that he has developed bad habits that may "rub off" on your children. Some children who are adopted at an older age have Reactive Attachment Disorder, which can manifest in disobedience, stealing and rages. Children already in the home can be affected by these behaviors or model them, if they see the adopted child getting attention through these behaviors.
Anxiety
Related to jealousy, some children also experience anxiety when a new child enters the home. They may be afraid that they will become replaceable or that their parents will love the new child more than they love them. Anxiety can manifest in physical illnesses as well as challenging behavior.
A New Culture
If you've adopted internationally, your existing children will be able to learn about the culture of your adopted child as you work to continue to embrace that culture. They may even accompany you on the adoption trip, which would be an invaluable experience for a child.
