Being an effective parent means that you have to adjust your tactics to suit the particular needs of each of your children. Recognizing that your children will not always submit to what you want them to do right away is important for understanding them and being able to help fix any behavioral issues they exhibit. This is especially crucial when you are raising a strong-willed child, as your consistency and patience can both contribute greatly to providing him the structure and discipline that your child may resent but definitely needs.
Step 1
Make a true effort to understand your strong-willed child's reasoning. Strong-willed children generally misbehave when they feel as though they are being ignored or misunderstood. Explain to your child that though there will be times when you will not agree with her, that you are willing to listen to what she has to say. Encourage your child to communicate her feelings to you instead of bottling them up inside herself or allowing her feelings to undermine your parental authority. Understanding your child's perspective properly can also enable your reactions to his troublesome behaviors be more effective.
Step 2
Create firm limits with your strong-willed child. Explain to him why rules are required as well as the consequences he will face if he refuses to follow them. Make sure you do not cave into his tantrums, as this will only allow him to continue behaving badly. Create ground rules for how your child can receive rewards as well as consequences to prevent any confusion when it comes time to enforce them. You can also create a behavior chart listing positive behaviors and hang this in a place where your child will see it often as a reminder to behave himself well.
Step 3
Encourage your child to comply with your rules without harming her spirit. Understand that your job as a parent is not to "fix" your child as much as it is to refine her behaviors. Encourage your strong-willed child to use her nature to contribute to positive activities such as volunteering with nonprofit organizations or playing sports.
Step 4
Do not label your child as a "problem child." Understand that this and any other negative labels have a strong impact on your child's self-esteem and subsequent behaviors. A strong-willed child could, for example, act even more negatively simply to test your will or retain these labels, as they provide him attention.
