Your jealousy of your partner, whether it be jealousy stemming from relationships, success or some other cause, can cause the downfall of your relationship. Accusations of infidelity, anger and resentment over the other's happiness and a constant feeling of mistrust can drive a wedge between any partners. If you want your relationship to work, you need to learn how to control your jealousy. While it may not be easy at first, you can develop good habits that help you to stay calm and stop actively looking for the worst in your partner.
Step 1
Remind yourself that jealous feelings are a choice that you yourself make, urges Dr. Phil McGraw, Ph.D. of the "Dr. Phil Show." When you become jealous, you are choosing that behavior through no fault of your partner. Think about what you get from feeling jealous--power, control, validation--and think about why you need those feelings in your life.
Step 2
Choose a more rational emotion to pair with your jealousy so that you can discover the root of your jealousy. Perhaps you don't really feel jealous, but self-conscious or unworthy. Or perhaps your jealousy is just another word for mistrust. Finding a more rational emotion can help you think about the real cause and work on that as a remedy to controlling your jealousy.
Step 3
Take time to work on your self-esteem, recommends LifeSpy.com. Often low self-worth is mistaken for jealousy; you believe that the person you are with is better than you, or you don't deserve happiness, so you invent people and reasons that your partner would leave. If you are a loving, caring partner, there is no reason to be jealous because you deserve to have a happy relationship.
Step 4
Remind yourself of all that you have to lose through your jealous behavior. If you really loved your partner, it would be a good enough reason to suppress your jealousy and try to make it work. Think about how upset you'd feel if your partner left you over your jealousy.
Step 5
Allow your partner to prove herself by giving her a wide berth. Urge her to hang out with her friends, cultivate hobbies and spend time away with you. This can help break you of the bad habit of jealousy by giving her trust. You should also spend some time alone so that you can learn to be happy and trusting with yourself before you can extend the trust to your partner.
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