Family reunions, the holidays and get-togethers can become shark-infested waters when family members don't get along. One wrong word, and the precarious peace that the event is based upon could crumble, leaving you in the middle of squabbling siblings and dueling parents. Keep the peace by knowing what to say, what to do with your family and how to act to make sure that everyone can take the time to reconnect with their roots instead of trying to fight against them.
Step 1
Avoid hot button issues when in conversation. Not everyone in the family s going to have the same thoughts and opinions on things like religion, politics and money. Keep the conversation light and easy, and choose topics like family history, amusing stories and inside jokes to keep everyone laughing. If you know that your uncle is a staunch Republican and your dad is a firm Democrat, leave the political discussions outside the door. If they come up, steer the conversation away.
Step 2
Choose a shared interest, activity or game to base the gathering around, according to BellaOnline.com. Sit-down dinners can be a hotbed of conflict because they rely solely on conversation, which in turn can become arguing. Choose a game, an event or an activity that you can enjoy together, like watching the Super Bowl, playing a board game or going to the beach, so that everyone is kept busy.
Step 3
Talk to feuding family members separately before the family gathering. Ensure that they are fine with attending, and they feel comfortable with the gathering place and activity. Making sure that each family member feels welcome and comfortable can help defuse bad feelings before family members even step in the door.
Step 4
Put aside your own feelings, ego and opinions for the day, recommends Caroline Preson of the Huffington Post. Family gatherings last a a day or two at the most, so commit to holding your tongue. Have answers at the ready for inappropriate or probing questions that upset you so that you can quickly deliver the answers and change the subject.
Step 5
Avoid forcing family members who don't get along to spend time together. Seating them together at the table, splitting them off into teams or giving them time to "talk things out" may seem like a clever way to resolve family problems, but it will likely alienate your family members and escalate conflict. Allow them to take their time in resolving their own conflict as you do your best to provide neutral ground for the family gathering.
