If you have a friend or family member whom you suspect is in an abusive relationship, don't keep your feelings to yourself. Fast action is required, particularly if you are noticing warning signs. If your friend seems nervous around her partner, is missing from events she would usually attend, has unexplained injuries, is constantly being called by her partner, and is criticized or humiliated in front of her partner, she may be in an abusive relationship. Not all abusive relationships involve physical abuse, so don't wait until the relationship seems physically violent before stepping forward.
Step 1
Break the tension by telling your friend that you are concerned. If your friend has not brought up her relationship problems with you before, explain to her that you are there for her if she needs to talk, that she is not alone, and that the situation is not her fault, suggests the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness.
Step 2
Keep your friend's feelings a secret. Do not report your concerns to a counselor or doctor without your friend's consent. If your friend tells you information about her relationship, keep it confidential to protect her safety.
Step 3
Provide your friend with resources to help her get out of the abusive relationship, like providing names and numbers of local doctors and safe houses in your area, but do not force or coerce her to get out of the relationship against your will. It may be difficult to watch your friend return to her abuser, but if she is not ready to leave, your intervention may make the situation worse, states the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness.
Step 4
Help your friend create a safety plan if she does decide to leave her spouse. Instruct your friend to pack an emergency bag, with clothing, keys and toiletries, and leave it at your house, suggests the Mayo Clinic. When your friend feels ready and safe, have her come to your house and call a domestic violence hotline, like (800) 799-SAFE.
Step 5
Make a plan for your friend's escape from her abusive partner, when she is ready. Assist your friend by helping her get out of the house when her abuser is not around. Take her emergency bag and bring her directly to a women's shelter or other safe place that you have made prior arrangements with.
Tips and Warnings
- Refer your friend to a counseling or mental health center to help plan her escape from an abusive relationship.
- Keep your windows and doors locked, and call 911 if the abuser comes to your house.
Things You'll Need
- Emergency bag
- Clothing
- Keys
- Toiletries
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