Discipline instills the development of self-control, order, structure and character. Unlike punishment, which aims to stop a behavior, discipline aims to bring about more appropriate actions. As a parent or teacher, your job is to ensure the proper nurturing of young children into healthy adults. In order to be successful, make sure you administer your lessons correctly.
Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is the idea that if you provide rewards for good behavior, your child will produce more of that good behavior. Rewards, however, depend upon your child's interpretation of what is "wanted," so you must first know what your child desires. If your child likes attention, then give him attention whenever he does something well. If he likes video games, then allow more playtime for school achievements, respectful dinner etiquette or learning to be quiet and considerate at important events. Reinforcing good behavior will produce more order and happiness without the side effects of punishment.
Punishment
Punishment is the act of giving or taking something in order to stop a behavior. For example, if your son starts cursing, take away TV privileges for a few days, citing that "TV must be a bad influence." If your daughter refuses to eat her vegetables, then take away her dessert. If, however, she does not care for dessert anyway, then take away something she does respond to. Like reinforcements, punishments depend upon if the child actually cares about the thing that is given or taken away.
Consistency
Children, especially those who suffer from symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), need lessons to be repeated and consistent. For instance, if you punish your son for cursing only sometimes, he will think that every now and again, cursing is OK. You have to insist that a behavior is bad every time it happens. Imagine if a criminal could steal an expensive item from a store four times before getting caught once with a minor punishment--he or she may be more likely to steal again in the future. Likewise, if a child can get away with making a mess, ignoring dishes or leaving toys out with only the occasional punishment, he is more likely to repeat the behavior later on. Therefore, enforce your rules repeatedly and consistently.
Relevant Consequences
Rules are more likely to be followed when they make sense. For example, if your child is throwing a tantrum because he refuses to put his toys away, send the child to timeout and then make him clean up his mess. Remind him that "Crying does not give you what you want, but it can isolate you," and "whether you do it now or later, your messes will be waiting for you when you are done crying." Repeating this every time the bad behavior happens will result in proper correction. Also, ignore the child if he continues to cry -- tantrums are a normal part of growth and subside as the child realizes he is neither gaining attention, whether positive or negative, nor what he desires.
Prosocial Behavior
Research conducted by psychologists Ariel Knafo and Robert Plomin found that when parents use positive disciplinary practices, like explaining to children the consequences of their behaviors, children listen more often, internalize parental messages and empathize with others in need -- what is known as prosocial behavior. In contrast, negative punishments, which induce compliance through threats and violence, can reduce the understanding of rules due to fear interfering with learning. This highlights the importance of rewarding good behaviors and finding new alternatives of inflicting pain for punishment.
