Parents have a major effect on their children. During the first four years of life, children live in an environment dominated with parental control. Even as they develop into free thinkers, children still rely on parents for moral structure and order as well as a sense of what is right and wrong. Deviant behavior---drug use, stealing, violence, vandalism, etc.---can develop as a result of many reasons, with parents taking a good percentage of the responsibility.
Be a Good Role Model
Children turn to their parents as role models of appropriate behavior. When parents solve issues by yelling, fighting and breaking things, children absorb these techniques as ways they can resolve their own problems. To deter deviant behavior, you must follow and model the rules you would like to instill in your children. For example, if you do not want them to curse, then you must not curse in front of them. If you want them to respect others, you must demonstrate your respect of others by saying excuse me and thank you and refraining from road rage and anger whenever possible. Furthermore, do not engage in drug use, smoking or drinking in front of children unless you want them emulating these behaviors as they grow up. Most importantly, remember to practice what you preach.
Develop an Authoritative Parenting Style
There are four parenting styles: authoritative, permissive, authoritarian and neglectful. Authoritative, which involves being supportive, having firm control and making demands relevant to your child's maturity level, yields the highest prosocial behavior out of children. Unlike authoritarian, which can be overly strict, an authoritative style is nurturing and accepting. Unlike neglectful, it shows an active interest and participation in the child's life. Expectations and consequences are clear and reasonable, unlike the permissive style of anything goes. Also, there is a level of awareness of peers and activities without a harsh criticism of the child's lifestyle--only guidance. On the other hand, the authoritarian style has been shown to have a positive effect on GPA and order for Asian families, so cultural variations may exist.
Create a Nurturing Environment
A house of love creates an environment of safety, where the child feels free to express himself and learn as he chooses. Hostile family contexts, on the other hand, can block positive communication, destroy opportunities of sharing and disrupt bonds of attachment and security. As a result, youths turn to gangs and other troubled youths that share in their heartache. According to the "American Journal of Public Health," elementary children who exhibit violent behavior are 11 times more likely to live separate from their father and six times more likely to have parents that are divorced. When the home and world around children are chaotic and sad, especially in conditions of poverty, children become more likely to turn to drugs and other outlets as a means of escape. Therefore, make sure to develop a caring, nurturing environment as much as possible.
References
- Institute of Medicine: Family and Peer Influences on Adolescent Behavior and Risk-Taking
- Witchita State University: The Effects of Family Structure and Parenting Style on Overt Aggressive Behavior at School
- "American Journal of Public Health"; Risk Factors for Violent Behavior in Elementary School Boys: Have You Hugged Your Child Today?; Sheline, J. L., Skipper, B. J., & Broadhead, W. E.; 1994
