While your friend may have lost a loved one years ago, the pain of that death haunts her every year on the anniversary of the death date. The anniversary conjures up the feelings of grief, anger, sadness, depression and even fear in your friend even years later. Make sure that you are there to lend your support as your friend relives the experience annually on the date of a loved one's death. You can make the grief less sharp and the experience less painful simply by being there for her.
Step 1
Remember the date each year and acknowledge that you remember when speaking with your friend. In this way, your friend will know that he doesn't have to go through the anniversary on his own. Say something like, "I realized that your dad passed away two years ago today, how are you feeling?" Acknowledging the date can take away some of the feelings of isolation your friend may be feeling over the anniversary of the death of her loved one.
Step 2
Send a note, card or small gift to commemorate the anniversary and to let your friend know that you are thinking about her and are concerned about her. It's a sweet gesture that can lend your friend support, even if you are not sure what to say to her.
Step 3
Offer to accompany your friend to the grave site or take him to engage in another activity that commemorates his loved one. Perhaps his mother loved the opera and you can get a couple of tickets to attend. Visit a favorite leisure spot, like the lake or park. Take him to a ball game in honor of his baseball enthusiast brother. It can help your friend associate his loved one with happier times and activities. You can also take the time to share stories and memories to prove to your friend that his loved one has not been forgotten.
Step 4
Allow your friend to grieve each year, even if it has been 10 years since the death. Each person grieves differently, notes HelpGuide.org, so don't lose your patience if your normally happy-go-lucky friend becomes upset and depressed on the same date each year. Just offer your support and be there for her so that she can take her time to heal as wounds are opened again each year.
Step 5
Offer your support to your friend by encouraging him to talk to you if he feels like it. Use positive words like "She would be so proud of you," suggests the American Cancer Society. You should avoid saying things like "You're so strong," because it makes your friend feel like he can't be sad. Instead, show a nonjudgmental attitude by telling your friend that he can call you any time, day or night, to talk.
