Whether your husband attacks you physically, verbally or emotionally, spousal abuse can often break you down, make you feel unworthy and ruin your self-esteem. Within time, you may think that an abusive husband is the best that you can get. Stop that thinking by having a plan of action for the next time his abusive behavior affects you. Give him fair warning once before you resolve to do something and stop your bad treatment altogether. No one can save you but yourself, so you should become your own best ally to cope with an abusive husband.
Step 1
Admit that there is a problem, recommends Families.com. Abusers often follow the same pattern of abuse, apology and self degradation, only to abuse again. While you may believe in your husband's repeated apologies, admit to yourself that there is a problem and things are not getting better. Understand that you are being abused and you deserve better.
Step 2
Approach your husband on neutral ground, when you are both feeling reasonable and sober, and let him know that you know that you are being abused and will no longer tolerate it. If he becomes angry and irate, tell him that it is exactly that type of behavior that makes you scared and sad. Let him know you will not stay if the abuse continues. This gives him fair warning and a chance to clean up his act; he may not even realize that his actions are being construed as abuse.
Step 3
Make a safety plan so that you can escape if the abuse happens again. You can call 1-800-799-SAFE to get a list of women's shelters in your area, or talk to a friend whom you trust who can help you find alternative living arrangements. Let someone in your family, like your mom, dad, sister or brother, know what is going on, and get emergency numbers that you can call anytime, day or night, for help.
Step 4
Save your own money in a separate bank account that your husband isn't aware of. If you don't have a job, try selling some items on online auction sites, recycling bottles and cans or doing some housekeeping odd jobs to earn a little money. Or take a community college course that will help hone your skills in the event you need to leave and get your own job.
Step 5
Procure a family lawyer to have just in case a custody battle or restraining order issue arises that you need legal help for. Your women's shelter will also have lawyers on-call to help with especially dangerous cases, notes WomansDivorce.com.
