Even after your child begins to use the potty, accidents are normal. The process of becoming fully potty trained--including staying dry at night--can take months. If your formerly potty-trained daughter is having more accidents than successes, though, many issues could be to blame: medical problems, stress or her need for control can all be setbacks. If so, it's time for a new set of strategies to get your child back on track--and on the potty.
Under Pressure
Stress and anxiety are common causes of regression in kids, and potty skills are often the first skills to fall away when your child's under pressure. Parents often expect a new sibling, a move, family upheaval or a change of school or caregiver to impact potty training. Really, though, anything that interferes with your child's routines or sense of security could be to blame, whether it's a pleasurable event (a vacation, exciting holiday or house guests from out of town) or an unpleasant one (teasing, perceived increased attention to a sibling).
Potty-Training Resistance
Kids who have had a bad experience at some point during potty training become resistant and refuse to use the potty. Sensitive children may refuse to use public restrooms because they're afraid of bathroom noises, like loud flushes and noisy hand-dryers, or they may become anxious at the prospect of sitting on a public toilet with an automatic flush because they're afraid it will flush before they're ready. Your child might resist using the bathroom at home if she has begun to associate it with pressure, stress or punishment.
If your daughter is completely resisting potty training, back off for a bit. Let her decide when she'll go, and don't punish her for accidents. Give her the option of wearing training pants. Be patient, loving and supportive; further stress surrounding the potty will only prolong the problem.
"I'm in Control"
Preschoolers are learning control, not just over their environment and their emotions but over their bodies. Your daughter's refusal to go potty when you tell her to may just be her attempt to establish her sense of independence and self-control. Try setting a timer and having her go by herself when the timer rings. She'll feel in control, you'll prevent an accident and you might avoid turning potty time into a power struggle.
Constipation
Past experience with painful bowel movements can cause your child to avoid pooping, which can lead to decreased sensitivity, constipation and even more pain on elimination. If your daughter experiences frequent constipation or painful bowel movements, talk to your pediatrician about whether dietary changes or a mild laxative might help.
Other Medical Problems
Talk to your pediatrician if you're having an especially hard time teaching your daughter to use the potty. This is especially important if she seems delayed in other areas. In rare cases, constipation or bowel/bladder incontinence can come from a medical problem.
