Whether it is for a good reason or one we'd rather not know about, people lie, although some people lie more than others. When we're confronted with certain attitudes or behaviors in our spouse, especially those we are not accustomed to seeing, we often question ourselves, or wonder if our spouse is lying to us. According to an article in The Guardian, researchers estimate that we catch only 5 percent of our partners' lies. Although it's not a foolproof way of detection, here are some ways to tell whether your spouse is lying to you.
Body Language
If you ask your spouse an uncomfortable or confrontational question, be aware of her body language directly after you pose the question. Touching her face, shifting posture or crossing and uncrossing legs while sitting, or breaking eye contact can all be signs of concealment. In their book "Lasting Love," Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks outline a number of ways you can tell whether your spouse is lying to you by observing body language. They advise being aware of the "two common reactions: crossing arms over chest quickly and crossing one leg over another."
Attitude
The attitude that your spouse adopts is significant in terms of determining whether he is lying. Defensiveness, nervousness and even mood swings, such as being defensive or confrontational one minute and loving and romantic the next, can all be signs that your spouse is lying to you. A defensive attitude, one in which he tries to reverse the blame and put it on you, or tries to make you feel guilty, can indicate that your spouse is either lying or concealing something.
Concealing Information
Hiding information or concealing certain elements such as Internet history or cell phone call history can also be signs of lying. One such indication can be your spouse hiding her activity on a shared computer or not allowing you to access a shared computer. Another sign is deleting the cell phone history before coming home from work or after receiving a call.
Sudden Changes in Appearance
If your concern is that your partner or spouse is having an affair, one way to tell is to notice any sudden changes in her appearance. If your spouse suddenly gets a radically new haircut or spontaneously decides to expand her wardrobe, this can be an indication that your spouse is lying to you. It might not necessarily indicate that she is having an affair, but it is a sign that there are some issues that need to be brought into the open.
References
- "Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship"; Gay Hendricks, Ph.D, and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D; 2004
- The Guardian: Sweet Little Lies
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