1. Time to Heal
Physically, most doctors say that you can try to conceive again one or two cycles after a lost pregnancy. However, healing emotionally after losing a child to miscarriage or stillbirth is a process of grief that will be different for each couple. You need to allow yourself time to heal, and realize that your spouse needs a time to grieve, as well. Wait until you're both ready to try again. It's easy to hope that another pregnancy would help you recover. But getting pregnant again isn't going to magically wipe away the grief you feel.
2. Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
Your emotions may run from one extreme to another, from feeling that you won't be happy until you're pregnant again to feeling that you must be crazy to even think of trying again. You may also feel that you're trying to somehow erase the memory of the child you lost by trying to conceive with another. Know that there's nothing wrong with continuing to love the child you lost and that having another child will never replace the one you lost.
3. You Just Know
Most couples say they just knew they were ready to try again when the time was right. But, you need to consider a few things in regard to your readiness to try again. First, while most couples have every reason to think their next pregnancy will result in a healthy birth, you need to be reasonably sure you could endure another loss. Also, consider if you're ready for it to take a few months to conceive. The chances of conceiving in any given month are about 20 percent, so you need to be prepared for the disappointment that an unsuccessful month brings.
4. Sadder but Wiser
Don't be too hard on yourself because you're more apprehensive about getting pregnant again, feeling like the happiness and joy you felt the first time is diminished. You're unfortunately wiser now and you know that not all pregnancies will result in the birth of a healthy baby, so it's perfectly natural to fear going through that grief again. Just try your best to focus on the positive and take things one day at a time, when you're ready.
5. Bittersweet Days
You may find yourself thinking about what would have been in your lives had you not lost a child. Christmas, Mother's/Father's Day, will likely be hard. Even if you are pregnant again before your original due date with the child you lost, give yourself permission to be sad that day. You may feel with any of these bittersweet days that you should be focusing on the future, not the past or what might have been. Try to connect with others who have lost a child, and you'll realize that your feelings are not only normal, but very common.
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