When both people in a marriage are willing to go to a marriage counselor, the counseling process can be effective, report counselors at East Bay Couples Counseling in Livermore, Calif. A marriage can be saved when both partners are willing to compromise and change. Learning a little about what happens in marriage counseling can help remove some of the stigma attached it.
Discovery
In the initial sessions, therapists spend time getting to know each partner, according to therapists at East Bay Couples Counseling. Counselors want to know how the couple met and what kinds of issues are plaguing the couple. They spend time individually with each partner early in the counseling to get each individual's perspective on the marriage and the problems they are trying to address. A counselor also will seek to find out what expectations each brings to the therapy.
Features
Marriage counselors work to solve the immediate crisis as quickly as possible so that a dialogue can ensue. Opening communication is one of the first goals of marriage counseling, especially when either partner is willing to communicate. Once a compromise has been established, further communication is possible and long-term issues can be addressed. Once a crisis has been averted, then the couple can look for underlying problems that brought about the stand-off and necessitated the need for counseling.
Benefits
One of the biggest benefits a couple can receive by attending marriage counseling is the rapt attention of a third party that does not take sides, report counselors at the New York Psychotherapy Group. The therapist doesn't make rules, but instead seeks to find out what the couple needs and provides the necessary environment. The therapist tries to help the couple communicate effectively by clarifying what he heard each partner say.
Misconceptions
During marriage counseling, which typically lasts six to 12 weeks, partners don't always end up changing. Instead, they often discover they've had unrealistic expectations of what a marriage should provide. Couples often find that they are more alike than they believed. By using a facilitator to help them communicate effectively, couples often discover they have been replaying roles they learned while growing up.
Warning
After all the work is done in the counseling sessions, couples do not always reconcile. Counselors at the New York Psychotherapy Group say that the couple deciding to divorce doesn't necessarily mean the counseling was a failure. Instead, they might have come to the conclusion that they are better off splitting because of the work they did in therapy.
