That green-eyed monster rears its lovely head, and when it does, normally rational people begin to imagine the worst scenarios. "He's not calling me/answering my calls. He must be with someone else." Instead of facing this negative emotional reaction for what it is, these people then subject their romantic partners to a foul mood or an interrogation of what they did while they were out of touch. Jealousy can be confronted, dealt with and tamed.
Step 1
Talk to your partner about how you're feeling. He doesn't like being the target of your negative thoughts and wants you to handle your feelings without you thinking he's cheating on you.
Step 2
Recognize your feelings for what they are--when your partner doesn't call because she's busy, it doesn't mean she's flirting with someone else. Don't ignore your emotions and insecurity. You'll only set off an argument with your partner when you can't hide your feelings any longer.
Step 3
Focus on your feelings when you're talking with your partner. Don't isolate your partner's failure to call you because this isn't the cause of your jealousy. Instead, tell him, "I get jealous when I don't hear from you." Being able to sit down with him and acknowledge your feelings of jealousy can help bring you closer to him.
Step 4
Talk to your partner when you feel calm. This helps her to reassure you because she's not being blamed for your feelings. When you talk about your feelings, you're both more aware of them and what causes them. In time, your feelings of jealousy should decrease.
Step 5
Ask your partner for help when you begin experiencing jealous feelings. Try to figure out what causes you to feel jealous when your partner is busy with something that doesn't involve you. Use your feelings of jealousy as a reminder that you need to heal something within yourself if you're going to learn how to give your partner the space and time to live his life without your negative reactions holding him back.
Tips and Warnings
- Jealousy stems from feeling as if you're less than someone else. Stop comparing yourself to others, and value yourself for who you are. Jealousy causes you to jump to the worst conclusions about what you believe your partner is doing. This can damage an otherwise healthy relationship.
- Jealousy that has not been dealt with and resolved can lead to one partner being controlled.
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