Children of all ages experience emotional, teary and screaming meltdowns that feel designed to manipulate parents into giving in. Some screaming fits happen at home where they can be more easily managed with a short time out, but other tantrums hit in the restaurant or in the longest checkout line in the store. Parents and caregivers need to know what to do so they can calm down a screaming child without losing control themselves.
Step 1
Stay calm even as your child is in the middle of a loud meltdown. Remember that she will only be able to regain control of her emotions and behavior if she sees that you aren't melting down and becoming angry yourself.
Step 2
Remove your child from an unsafe area--if the two of you are in the kitchen near a hot stove, pick him up and move to a safer area such as his bedroom. Put him down and move a short distance away. Don't talk to your son or make eye contact with him.
Step 3
Place your child in her time out chair if her tantrum is escalating out of control. If you happen to be in a public place like a store or restaurant, take her to your car and strap her in her car seat, stand outside the car and give her 1 minute for every year of her age for a time out.
Step 4
Move down to your child's eye level once he begins to calm down and the tantrum is wearing itself out. Talk to him at a level he's able to understand and let him know that he can use other ways to express his frustration and anger. If it's possible, hold him because his tantrum scared him and he doesn't like being out of control.
Step 5
Distract your child with one of her favorite toys if she's upset that you took an unsafe object away from her such as a pair of sharp scissors. Move the unsafe object to an area that your child can't get to or see, such as a drawer above her eye level.
Tips and Warnings
- Always let your child know that you love him even when he's in the middle of a screaming tantrum. If there are other young children around when your child starts screaming, quickly remove your child so he doesn't upset the other children.
- Give yourself time to get your own emotions under control if your child's tantrum is upsetting you. Count to 30 and take a few deep breaths before you try to interact with her. Do not yell at her or spank her. This only makes her feel more out of control and angrier.
Things You'll Need
- Child's favorite toy
