Passive-aggressive behavior is a type of behavior in which a person is angry but instead of discussing it openly, she secretly sabotages situations, events or relationships. The person using this behavior pretends she is in agreement with the plans or wishes of someone else but is actually hostile. In an intimate relationship, this often turns into emotional abuse. Without counseling, a pattern develops and the person may sabotage intimate relationships, friendships and work relationships.
Procrastination
Procrastination is a classic example of passive-aggressive behavior. The person may tell you it is fine to attend your friend's party, but he does not start getting ready to go on time and runs you an hour late. He knows this upsets you but either feigns an apology or becomes defensive.
Sullenness
According to MedlinePlus, sullenness is characteristic of passive-aggressive behavior. The person seems to be saying, "You can make me attend the play, but I refuse to enjoy it." She allows her sullen mood to ruin the evening for all involved, although she says nothing outright.
Performs a Task Poorly
Ineffective task performance is often indicative of passive-aggressive behavior. An example of this is the man who is asked to go to the grocery store but returns with only half of the items on the list. He may buy items that specifically annoy you, such as his favorite unhealthy food items, but not the bran cereal you requested. If asked to wash your car, he may deliberately scratch it. The bottom line of this behavior is that he wants you to perform the task yourself rather than ask him to do it.
Allowing You to Make a Serious Mistake
The person with passive-aggressive behavior allows you to make a bad decision, and, when ramifications occur for you, she seems pleased and lets you know that she was aware you were messing up. An example of this is letting you take the wrong exit off the interstate and drive 10 miles before you realize you are in the wrong place. As you turn around, she lets you know that she knew you were going the wrong way all along. In another scenario, you may be considering whether to quit your job. You try to discuss it with her, but she says little. After quitting your job, you have great difficulty getting another one. She seems amused by what you are going through--even though it is hurting your family--and states that she knew you shouldn't have quit.
Forgetfulness
The person with passive-aggressive behavior may "forget" an event that you wished him to attend. An example of this would be not attending your niece's graduation and claiming that he forgot. He may "forget" to meet you at the doctor's office for your appointment. He may become argumentative or hostile if you ask where he was. The Mayo Clinic describes cynicism and irritability as further symptoms you may notice. These are usually noted when the person is asked to explain his annoying, hurtful behavior.
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