Seven-year-olds are at an in-between age in which they are no longer very small children, yet are not quite big kids yet either. They are fairly independent but can slip into babyish behavior as well. Setting clear and consistent limits and finding appropriate and creative methods of discipline can help parents manage their seven-year-old child's behavior more successfully.
Positive Recognition
When children are recognized for what they have done right, they are more likely to repeat that behavior. Positive attention and specific recognitions create positive relationships between parents and children, build self-esteem, and reinforce the behavior parents want to see more of. Telling your children they have done a "good job" lets them know they have done something correctly. Telling children, "Thank you for hanging up your coat and putting your shoes in your closet," tells them exactly what they have done correctly.
Marble Jar
Each time you catch your child making positive choices, following directions, and being responsible, offer him praise and put a marble in a jar. When the jar is full, recognize his positive efforts with a fun activity. Make the activities no- or low-cost and make sure they are unique, not everyday, opportunities. Fun ideas are going for a bike ride, having a 10-minute dance party, eating a picnic dinner (even if it's just on the kitchen floor), playing a game together, or going for a walk. Brainstorm a list of fun activities with your child to help him become invested in the effort.
Yes/No Box
Decorate a box and print out papers with that say "yes" and "no" separately. When your child is making positive choices put a "yes" in the box. When she makes a troubled choice, put a "no" in the box. Each afternoon draw a card from the box. If you draw a "yes," choose a fun activity like those listed above. If a "no" is drawn, try again tomorrow. Be sure to front-load the box with "yeses" the first week or so in order to get your child on board.
Energy Drain
When your child is arguing, refusing or otherwise not complying with your requests, use the energy drain technique from the Love and Logic series. "Oh no, all that arguing is draining my energy. I don't think I'll be able to make you dinner without more energy. How are you going to fill it back up?" Give your child some time to think and if he needs ideas, offer him some age-appropriate chores to complete. Seven-year-olds can wipe down counters or floors in the kitchen or bathroom with a sponge or a non-toxic cleaning wipe, sweep small areas such as a stairway, empty small trash cans, feed family pets, water plants, dust and vacuum.
Key Point
Remember children first need to be taught the behavior expected of them and given the opportunity to practice it with support. Discipline is teaching children how we want them to behave.
References
- Parenting With Love and Logic; Cline & Fay; 2006
- The Tough Kids Tool Box: Jenson, Rhode, & Reavis; 1994
- Positive Behavioral Supports & Interventions
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