Your partner has been acting strangely over the past few months. You get that nagging feeling in your heart, but you can't quite pinpoint what leads you to suspect that he is having an affair. Perhaps he has asked for extra "space," or he constantly defends his actions as if he is being asked to confess to a crime. Read into his actions a little more and you may find that you have a reason to be concerned.
Strange Online Behavior
Thanks to modern conveniences such as the Internet, your partner could very well be carrying on an extramarital relationship within the confines of your own home. If your partner is suddenly glued to the computer, up until wee hours of the morning with the glow of the computer illuminating her face, she may have found online "friends" that she wants to communicate with all the time. According to the National Directory of Marriage & Family Counseling, a cheating spouse may attempt to protect passwords and email account information, regularly clear Internet history, and block family members' immediate view of the computer screen.
Odd Cell Phone Behavior
Individual cell phones are also relatively new modern conveniences that make infidelity easier to get away with. Your partner can send and receive texts, take private calls when he is out of the office and away from home, and even open up a separate line that you don't know about. If you discover that he has a separate cell phone account that is billed to his work address, you have a right to be suspicious. If he only has one cell phone that you know about, scan the call history on the phone bill to determine whether any unfamiliar numbers show up frequently. Odd cell phone behavior may also include deleting caller ID history, clearing the text message archive, and hanging up quickly or walking out of the room to take phone calls when you are around.
Extra Time Away
You may have a right to be concerned that your spouse has begun to spend more than a normal amount of time away from the house. She may explain her absence by saying that she is taking trips with friends, going on additional work conferences, and working lots of overtime. Consider employing some simple tactics of investigating her whereabouts without pointing your finger directly at her. Give her a surprise call or visit her at the office when she says she will be at work, examine the mileage on her car to determine whether she is traveling more than she claims to be traveling, and---if you can---examine her credit card statement or bank account statements to assess where she is spending her money.
Increased Concern About Appearance
A cheating spouse may begin to care more about his appearance than he used to. If your husband is coloring his gray hair, wearing extra cologne, working out a lot, and checking himself in the mirror more than normal before he leaves the house, he may be trying to impress a new partner.
Erratic Home Personality
A spouse carrying on an extramarital affair may initially overcompensate for her misdeeds by giving special attention to you and, potentially, your children. However, she may alternate between giving special positive attention and nitpicking issues in the marriage and in the home to justify why she deserves to have love on the side. Over time, if her extramarital relationship thrives, she may begin to act more irritable at home, finding faults to distance herself from her home life.
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