5 Ways to Be Happily Single

5 Ways to Be Happily Single

1. Don't Define Yourself by Whom You're With

It can be easy to define your life by a spouse or significant other, but we are all unique individuals with fully formed interests and passions. Learn to see and appreciate yourself for who you are and celebrate the contributions you make to the world. Draw up a list of your accomplishments and things you can do for yourself that don't require anyone else to help. A strong and resilient sense of self not only makes being single happier and more enjoyable but can help avoid getting into a bad relationship simply because you do not want to be alone.

2. Explore Your Interests

Going hand-in-hand with knowing who you are is the ability to develop hobbies and pastimes that you enjoy. Attached couples must devote time to their relationship and are often too busy to pursue their passions as individuals. As a single person, you have the ability to join a class, learn a new skill, advance an existing pastime and otherwise fuel your sense of identity. You can extend this to your work life too and find new projects or interesting ways to develop your professional skills. Realize the gift you have in this extra time and take advantage of it in ways that contribute to your happiness and sense of self.

3. Reject the Perceived Social Stigma of Being Single

The social pressure to couple up is enormous, whether it be from the media, advertising or well-meaning friends and family who don't understand how frustrating it can be when they ask if you've "met anyone." It can be hard to deal with those pressures sometimes, but don't allow yourself to fall into the false judgments they make. Be proud of who you are and never feel obligated to defend your single status. Don't be afraid to go out to eat alone, go to the movies alone or go to parties alone, and work on avoiding self-consciousness during such activities. You're entitled to enjoy them them however you wish.

4. Focus on Friends

As Willa Cather said, "only solitary [people] know the full joys of friendship," and being single is not the same thing as being a hermit. Get out and find things to do with friends, even if it's just lunch or dinner a couple of days a week. Figure out activities that you can do together and set up get-togethers that may be fun for everyone. You should definitely have at least a few friends who are also singles. Coupled friends are great too, but the perceived "third-wheel" status can be frustrating sometimes. Fellow singles can both commiserate with you more readily and usually have more flexible schedules than couples.

5. Appreciate the Freedom

Singles have a lot more flexibility in how they live their lives. Take a few moments each day to appreciate that and don't be afraid to act on it if you feel you want to. You can travel somewhere you haven't been, stay out all night if you take a mind to it, and decorate your home exactly as you please. You don't have to share the bed, you can leave the toilet seat up, and you never have to nag anyone after he has left a mess in the kitchen. You may not even realize these aspects about your life, but when you do, it can improve your outlook immeasurably.

Last updated on: Aug 11, 2011

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