4 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Act in a Reliable and Predictable Manner

While a certain amount of spontaneity is always welcome in a relationship, long-term trust stems from dependability and predictability. An unexpected change in habits, such as coming home at a different hour from work or a sudden interest in different activities, shifts the foundation of the relationship in unexpected ways. That can lead to suspicion and a loss of trust. Be aware of your habits and predilections. If they change suddenly, let your partner know the reasons why so that he does not have cause to worry.

2. Don't Keep Secrets

Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship. Many people worry about hurting their partners with harsh truths or hide things that they feel are best left unspoken. Secrets damage trust, and talking openly and honestly about your feelings is the best way to strengthen the bond of a relationship. The key is to express yourself gently and with compassion and to trust that the other person can handle whatever you have to say. If she senses your faith, it makes it easier to handle and accept your words.

3. Emphasize Diplomacy When Engaging in Unpleasant Topics

Every relationship has moments of stress and unpleasantness. If your partner comes on strong or angry, defend yourself, but don't do so in a way that exacerbates the situation. Maintain a calm tone of voice. Speak with conviction, but don't deny your partner the right to express his point of view. Don't escalate the situation, but rather state your points with conviction and respect. Not only does it prevent the situation from worsening, but it emphasizes your personal strength without running roughshod over your partner's feelings and needs.

4. Don't Be Afraid to Assert Your Needs

Even the most intimate relationships need boundaries. A giving and selfless nature is key to making a good relationship work, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your core values or sense of who you are. When it does, people often tend to wall themselves off, which creates impediments to trust and undermines the relationship. Be clear about what you require in the relationship, state your reasons why emphatically, and be prepared to say "no" if something crosses an internal boundary. The more clearly you can articulate your needs, the easier it will be for your partner to respect them.