4 Ways to Strike up a Conversation on a Date

1. Encourage Your Date to Talk About His Interests

eople like to talk about themselves, and while you shouldn't allow your date to dominate the conversation entirely, it's best to start out encouraging him to talk about his life. Job, schooling, hobbies and family make good staples, but you can also ask him about pets, sports loyalties, vacation spots and even the clothes he is wearing. It helps your date relax and open up, and it also signals that you are interested in him.

2. Focus on Open-Ended Topics

Questions which can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" make poor conversation starters. Focus on subjects which encourage the conversation to flourish and grow in new directions. Ask about a new movie your date may have seen or CD she has heard and then expand it to talk about the kinds of movies and music (or actors and artists) she likes. Don't simply ask what your date does for a living, but find out where she intends to go with it and what she hopes to accomplish. Generally speaking, questions that start with "how" or "why" lead to more open-ended conversations than those starting with a "what," "who" or "where."

3. Look for Subjects of Mutual Interest

The key to a good conversation is finding common ground--things you both enjoy talking about and can become engaged in. When encouraging your date to open up, keep an eye out for commonalities. It may be a mutual sports team, a place where you both have lived, an interest or a hobby that matches with one of yours, a shared past event or even something going on around you at the time. If you find something to connect with, see about broadening it into a larger topic that can maintain the flow of conversation and maybe guide you to similar topics of mutual interest.

4. Stay Positive

Smile while you talk and keep the conversation turned to optimistic subjects. Stay away from hot-button topics such as religion and politics. Exes are another subject to avoid, as is money, medical problems, difficulties at work and things that make you angry. Pleasant conversation needn't be empty-headed, but it should stay upbeat whenever possible. That will encourage both you and your date to relax and open up more readily.