If you suspect a friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, know the warning signs. If your friend gets frequent phone calls from her partner while she is out, seems nervous around her partner, is frequently absent from events she previously seemed excited to attend or has inexplicable injuries, your friend may have an abusive partner. Not all abusive relationships are physically violent, and just because your friend does not think she is being abused does not mean her relationship is healthy. Act now to help your friend remove herself from this difficult and dangerous situation.
Step 1
Break the silence and ask your friend about his relationship. At first, your friend may feel defensive and deny that he is in a relationship that is dangerous. Listen as he explains wonderful and kind aspects of his partner, suggests the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness. Creating an open dialogue with your friend will help him confide in you about his relationship troubles.
Step 2
Explain to your friend that she is not the cause of the abuse, and that the situation is not her fault. If your friend expresses hope for the future of the relationship and a desire to change her partner, calmly explain that her partner is not going to change and that abuse is a "means of control," says the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness.
Step 3
Help your friend decide a time to leave and a safe place to go, when he is ready. Do not tell him where or when to go, but provide assistance that supports your friend's wishes. Safe places include shelters and crisis centers. To find a crisis center in your area, consult the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.
Step 4
Help your friend pack an emergency bag with toiletries, extra clothing and medications. Have your friend leave the emergency bag at your house, suggests the Mayo Clinic. This way, when your friend is ready to leave, she can go to your house to pick up her bag on the way to a safe place. Ideally, the safe place is not your home, because her partner will know to look there.
Step 5
Encourage your friend to get counseling that is separate from his partner. "Never recommend couples counseling in situations of emotional or physical abuse," says the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, as it may create a dangerous situation for your friend.
Tips and Warnings
- Do not encourage your friend to stay with her partner for her children.
- If you are feeling physically threatened by your friend's partner, call 911 or 1-800-799-SAFE immediately.
Things You'll Need
- Suitcase
- Toiletries
- Clothing
- Medication
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