"Most shy people would be surprised to learn that 40 percent of all young people today describe themselves that way," says Erika Casriel of Psychology Today. But just because you feel like a wallflower inside doesn't mean you have to be one at a party or other social situation. If you've had difficulty making friends throughout your life and want to create more meaningful relationships and become more confident, you can start your new, more friend-filled life today.
Step 1
Improve your body language. If you are feeling shy, your body language can give you away. Make direct eye contact with acquaintances, and smile. Do not cross your arms in front of your chest or slouch, as this will make you seem unsure and uninterested in having a conversation.
Step 2
Practice conversations with strangers. All skills take practice, and although you may not be immediately good at making conversation with strangers and acquaintances, you will improve with practice. Start a conversation by asking a stranger what he is drinking at a bar, or whom he knows at a party thrown by mutual friends. If you get a lukewarm response, the person you approached may be shy, too.
Step 3
Join a hobby group or volunteer organization. Social groups, like book clubs or sevice organizations, are a fun way to practice your confidence and increase your group of friends. Break the ice by asking your new friends about work, school or their hobbies.
Step 4
Make friends while bonding with your dog, recommends the Mayo Clinic. Take your furry friend to the dog park, and chat with other dog lovers. Ask your new friends about their dogs and their breeds, and make a puppy playdate for your dogs to play later in the week.
Step 5
Make errands an opportunity to socialize. If you're waiting in line at the bank or the post office, strike up a conversation with the person in front of you. A silly comment like, "This line sure is long," can lead to a larger conversation and a new friend.
Tips and Warnings
- Avoid leaving too many voicemails or emails when contacting new friends, recommends the Mayo Clinic.
- See a therapist or psychologist if you are unable to make friends or suffer extreme anxiety in social situations.
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