1. Define It
Social Anxiety (also called Social Phobia) is an intense fear response to social situations, which generally causes you to avoid them altogether. It is much more intense than shyness, as it creates such profound emotion that you find it difficult or impossible to participate in even the most potentially pleasurable social engagements. All of us experience nervousness, sweaty palms and difficulty speaking to some degree when we go to an interview for a job we really want. But for the socially anxious person, the interview might be avoided all together, or badly bungled as a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Symptoms include intense fear of being judged, embarrassed or otherwise humiliated, as well as all of the accompanying physical symptoms like shortness of breath, palpitations, sweating, dizziness and even fainting. People with social anxiety may develop problems with drugs or alcohol as they self-medicate, finding that using substances allows them to function well socially. They may also develop depression, low self-esteem, academic or work-related problems and problems with establishing and maintaining personal relationships.
2. Look for the Cause
You may have learned to be anxious from significant others who were also anxious. Or perhaps you've had some humiliating experiences, particularly those associated with trauma, such as being bullied in front of peers. Or maybe you were biologically predisposed to a kind of sensitivity that heightened these experiences. Maybe you and your parents never really developed any sure bonding when you were an infant. When that happens it's hard to know how to self-soothe. Of course, you won't remember that, but you can know if it's hard to soothe yourself, regardless of the cause. Can you think of specific precursors to your social anxiety? If so, you should write them down and take them with you to a professional.
3. Seek Professional Help
Although there are some medications you can take for Social Anxiety Disorder, it is commonly believed that medications alone will not help you to ultimately overcome the problem, simply because when the medication is stopped the problem returns. However, medications may help you to calm down enough to be able to work with a therapist to develop skills sufficient to overcoming the disorder altogether. Then you can stop taking the medications.
The most recommended approach to Social Anxiety Disorder is Cognitive Therapy (CT) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in combination with Exposure Therapy (ET). With CT or CBT you will develop an awareness of the automatic negative and often untrue thoughts stemming from underlying beliefs regarding social engagements. You can then confront these thoughts and beliefs with other more accurate thoughts and beliefs. From there you can learn to incorporate some self-soothing skills that will assist you in any anxiety provoking situation to calm yourself down. Exposure Therapy begins here so that you slowly expose yourself to mild then moderate doses of social situations in a safe and controlled way so that fear is eliminated and you build a repertoire of successful experience on which to base new beliefs.
