Your pet was a friend unlike any other. He didn't notice when your hair was frizzy on a humid day, he listened to you without judging your opinions, he loved you unconditionally. Now he's gone and you're caught between feeling immense sadness and suppressing tears because society says that "it was just a pet". However, as you know all too well, grieving the loss of a pet can be just as difficult as grieving the loss of a family member. You will never forget your pet, but you can do some things to help you come to terms with your loss.
Step 1
Accept your grief in all of its phases. According to Elsabeth Kubler-Ross' book "On Death and Dying," the normal grieving process comes in five stages: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the beginning, your mind may adapt to shock by blocking out what happened, but as you come to acknowledge the reality, you may feel angry, regretful ("If only I had thought to take him to the vet early on") a need to bargain with a higher power, an overall weight of depression, and eventually acceptance. Each stage may occur in order, or you may travel back and forth between different stages for some time to come. You may never come to fully accept what happened, but the pain is more likely to subside if you allow yourself to feel grief.
Step 2
Talk it out. To fully understand what you are feeling, feel free to discuss your thoughts with loved ones. If you believe that none of your loved ones can fully empathize with your feelings of grief, consider joining an online site that has a forum and chat room for grieving pet owners, joining an in-person pet support group, or calling one of many pet-loss hotlines mentioned in Resources. Also, consider discussing more private thoughts in a journal.
Step 3
Creating a memorial service for your beloved pet and saying your proper goodbyes can help bring closure, especially if you have children who are experiencing the death of a loved one for the first time. Write a eulogy and encourage your family members to memorialize your pet in their own ways. For example, your young son may want to draw a picture to express his feelings and your older daughter may want to write a poem or song.
Step 4
Wait at least a month to get another pet as recommended by The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). Give yourself some time to grieve so that you will have your heart fully open to the needs of a new pet when the time comes. Getting a new pet doesn't mean that you are trying to replace your former pet.
