Building a family through adoption is similar to building a family through birth in many ways. However the differences cannot be ignored and, if navigated appropriately, will enahance the emotional growth of your child. During the adoption process you probably discussed some of the issues confronted by adopted children--yet when your child is experiencing them, those seminars are long in the past. Not all children will experience their adoption similarly and not all children need the same type of intervention, but all children do need to be allowed to experience the issues of their adoption in an atmosphere of love, openness and understanding. As a parent it's essential that you put aside your own issues and fears to help your child navigate this journey that he did not choose.
Abandonment
At some point in their lives, adopted children will wonder why they were not parented by their biological parents. Even if your child is happy, healthy and well-adjusted, these feelings can still occur as your child processes the circumstances of his birth. This can show itself in separation anxiety, nightmares about loss, or emotional neediness. It can also swing the other way with a child who is reluctant to commit to people. Children involved in open adoptions, in which they occasionally see or hear from birthparents, have an easier time with this, as they have access to answers to their questions, according to Kathleen Silber in an article at adoptionhelp.org.
Being Different
Children in transracial adoptions are clearly different from their adopted parents, which brings up questions from friends and adults. If you are thinking of adopting transracially or have done so already, the book "Inside Transracial Adoption" by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg offers insight into how to help your child navigate feelings about being different.
Reactive Attachment Disorder
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is difficult to treat and seen most often in the adoption of older children who have been neglected or abused in foster care or an orphanage. An article at adoptionissues.org reports that some symptoms can occur in as many as 80 percent of adopted children. It manifests in uncontrollable rages, violence, disobedience and anger. These children are often charming to strangers while creating chaos in their homes. RAD needs treatment from a healthcare provider experienced in dealing with the disorder.
Other Behavior Issues
Research psychologist Margaret Keyes published a study that showed adopted children having slightly higher behavioral issues such as Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) than their non-adopted peers. Her study showed that 25 percent of boys adopted domestically had ODD while 18 percent non-adopted boys showed signs of that disorder. In addition 29 percent of the adoptees in her study group showed ADHD compared to 8 percent of non-adopted boys. Her study showed the ratios to be the same for adopted girls, but the percentages were much lower.
