1. Observe How a Person Behaves at Home
People with Asperger's usually prefer structured lives with well-defined routines and may become agitated or upset when these routines are broken. If, for example, your adult spouse, sibling or roommate normally eats breakfast at 9 a.m. and becomes stressed out when asked to eat at an earlier time, this may be indicative of Asperger's. Unlike people with autism, however, a person with Asperger's will probably be able to keep his frustration in check. Adults with Asperger's may also be reluctant to initiate conversation and require prodding to talk to you at all, especially if that person is already engaged in a favored activity when you try to initiate conversation. Eye contact may be rare. A person with Asperger's may have obsessive tendencies that manifest in such ways as insisting all of his books be lined up in a certain order on the shelf or that the clothes in his closet are categorized by color, style or season. Reliance on routine, obsession with categories and patterns and limited conversation are all symptoms of Asperger's that may be observed at home.
2. Watch How Interaction Occurs
One of the most common symptoms of Asperger's is difficulty or awkwardness in social situations. People with Asperger's generally want to be social, but lack the skills to do so. This sets Asperger's apart from autism, in which people usually express no interest in socializing with others. A person with Asperger's may stare inappropriately during a conversation or not seem to realize when it is his turn to speak. He may not pick up on non-verbal cues in social interaction, such as body language or tone of voice, and may not understand humor. Many people with Asperger's find they prefer to spend their time alone, as interacting with others may be too frustrating for them.
3. Pay Attention to Comments from Other People Who Know Your Loved One
Most adults with Asperger's are able to live relatively normal lives. They are often regarded as shy, reserved or even snobbish by others. As these are not considered abnormal behaviors, a real diagnosis may come late in life, or not at all. You can get a more accurate picture of whether your loved one has Asperger's by talking to the people who know him, such as co-workers, college professors, other relatives and friends (though a person with Asperger's may have a very limited social circle). Ask whether your loved one initiates conversation, if he seems awkward and unsure of himself during social interactions and whether he has any strange behaviors his peers may have noticed. If the answers you get make you suspect Asperger's, you can encourage your loved one to seek medical attention to manage the condition better.
