To succeed in life, a person needs to believe she is of worth, she is loved and valued, and she is capable of overcoming obstacles and achieving her goals. This concept of self begins in childhood. A child who hears a steady stream of praise and encouragement will develop the good self-esteem that will allow her to meet the challenges of life with confidence and enthusiasm. On the other hand, a child who hears constant criticism will struggle with self-doubt and frustration. Parents have the power to shape their child's self-esteem, either for good or for bad.
Step 1
Give your child sincere compliments. Thomas D. Yarnell, a clinical psychologist, counsels parents to praise children on a daily basis. Be sincere in your praise. Don't tell a child he did a good job on something if he didn't. Instead, tell him how proud you are of his good efforts. Remember to compliment character qualities, such as compassion and generosity, in addition to accomplishments.
Step 2
Encourage your child to try new things. Much of a child's self-esteem will stem from the belief that she is good at something. Because each person has unique strengths and weaknesses, a child needs to explore a variety of activities to discover her individual talents. Help your daughter find the hobbies she will enjoy by exposing her to a wide array of opportunities.
Step 3
Reassure your child that it is OK to make mistakes. This is especially important when your child is trying out a new activity. If he makes a mistake, frustration or embarrassment might tempt him to give up. Let your child know that the learning process takes time and practice, and mistakes should be looked at as a tool to gauge how he can improve.
Step 4
Teach your child how to set and monitor goals. If your son has a particular goal in mind, have him write it down, then show him how to break down that goal into manageable steps. Also, show him how to track and record his progress.
Step 5
Allow your child to solve some of his own problems. Parents might be tempted to fix things when they see their child struggling; however, it is important for a child's self-esteem to know that he is capable of problem solving on his own. When your son comes to you with a problem, discuss possible solutions with him, but let him make the choice of how best to handle it.
Step 6
Tell your child how much you love her. Certainly, pursuing talents and achieving success is critical to a child's good self-esteem, but they are both secondary to a child's need for her parent's unconditional love. Tell your child every day that you love her and how happy you are to have her in your life.
Tips and Warnings
- Celebrate small successes. Encourage your children to praise others too. Set a good example.
- Avoid ridiculing or shaming your child. Don't allow your ambitions to overshadow what your child needs.
