Deep down inside, you know the person you are destined to become. Developing self-confidence is not a matter of looking outward for the answers, but inward. Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. Solicit feedback from those who know you best. More importantly, live by your values, beliefs and the things and people most important to you. Learn to treasure what is special and powerful about you.
Step 1
Transform failure into strength.
Marshall Goldsmith of "Business Week" says you should forget about avoiding failure if you want to build confidence. Failures in life do not define your existence. No matter how many times you try to quit smoking, retake a math course or face rejection in matters of love, there are lessons to be learned. It may be a cliché, but life's regrets do not spring from the tally of mistakes made as much as from not trying at all.
Step 2
Define who you are and what you want.
"Lifetime" magazine profiled seven women in 2004 who overcame hardships and took extraordinary risks in life. The self-confidence that these women shared came from a deep-seated knowledge of what was important to them and who they believed themselves to be. For example, if you are pursuing a medical degree or a career as a solo violinist because of the wishes and aspirations of others, does it really matter how much you achieve if you would rather be doing something else? Cultivate your talents and do what you love.
Step 3
Take chances to have more success and fewer regrets. When you look at the careers of high achievers, such as Steve Jobs or Oprah Winfrey, you will find pivotal moments. Jobs co-founded Apple Computers, now Apple Inc., in a dorm room at Stanford University. Winfrey once modeled her career after Barbara Walters' career, and realized a vision that exceeded the achievements of any woman in television. Risk-taking can certainly lead to failure--on the first, second or, even, third try. There are no possibilities if you take no action on your dreams.
Step 4
Commit to your vision for your life. Marshall Goldsmith in "Business Week" advises business leaders to show courage outwardly, even when uncertain on the inside. Let the natural fear you might experience mobilize you to reach your goals, no matter how you define success. All the women featured in the "Lifetime" profiles gained courage and confidence in themselves enlisting the support of mentors, pushing themselves toward the boundaries of their own abilities and turning failures into lessons learned.
References
- "Lifetime;" Self-Confidence 101: Seven Women Who've Got It To Spare Share Their Secret; 2004
- "Business Week;" Self-Confidence for Leaders; Marshall Goldsmith; 2009
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