Marriage counseling can be a big step in helping to create a better, more healthy marriage between partners. But all too often, individuals go into a marriage counseling session expecting the counselor to do all of the work. The truth is that to get the most out of your session, you should prepare your thoughts and feelings so that they are more coherent in your session. Preparation can help you keep your head while discussing your relationship, helping you to find solutions to a stronger marriage.
Step 1
Find a marriage counselor who reflects your ideals and whom you have faith in, says the Mayo Clinic. You should always check a marriage counselor's credentials and ask about her philosophies on marriage. You may even find that you need to try a few different counselors before you find the one who will work the best for you and your spouse. Don't be shy about asking questions and "test-driving" different counselors.
Step 2
Think about what you'd like to accomplish through your marriage counseling session. Whether you're dealing with trust issues or a lackluster love life or are looking for a deeper bond, identify your motives before you head to the counselor's couch. Knowing what you want out of your sessions can give you a clear goal to work toward together.
Step 3
Write down any questions or concerns you may have in a small notebook that you can bring along to your session. You might be looking for a solution to a particular problem that is driving you apart, or there might be a specific emotion you'd like to convey to your spouse. Write it down so that you don't forget to address it while meeting with your counselor and your spouse.
Step 4
Identify the things that you can do to make your session with the marriage counselor better, suggests Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, psychologists and co-founders of The Couples Institute. Perhaps you need to open up more or communicate more clearly. Make an effort to improve at each session, so you're getting your money's worth and really improving your relationship. Do what you can so that you're taking responsibility for your part in bettering the relationship.
Step 5
Adopt a positive attitude before heading into your session. Look to an atmosphere of healing over blame and hope over resignation. Remember that you are taking the right steps to making your marriage better, and allow that knowledge to buoy you up when dealing with your marital problems through counseling.
Things You'll Need
- Notebook
- Pen
