No child goes through life without needing discipline or punishment after they act out or disobey rules. Punishment is essential to help teach and reinforce right and wrong to your child, but it can be a tricky task to accomplish. Punishment is only effective when your child understands why they are receiving discipline. This helps them review their actions that led to being punished and helps guide them in the future to avoid repeating those actions and suffering similar or worse discipline.
Step 1
State the reason for the punishment. Tell your child in clear terms what he did wrong--the younger they are, the simpler your language should be. The better your child understands your reasoning and what they did wrong, the better they will be able to differentiate between right and wrong in the future.
Step 2
Define your role in the punishment. You are the enforcer, but you should make clear that the punishment isn't intended to satisfy you in any way--you are there to help guide your child in their decision-making and help her make the right choices, and you don't enjoy the punishment. It is important not to express any delight or joy in the child being punished--do not aggravate your child by saying the ways you benefit from the discipline. This can instill in your child a mindset that she is being punished to please you, not to benefit her.
Step 3
Talk succinctly and calmly. Don't wear out your child by repeating yourself or going on a long monologue regarding their punishment. This wears out, frustrates and confuses children, and it dilutes the significance of what you have said. The fewer words you use when explaining the punishment, the more your explanation will resonate.
Tips and Warnings
- If possible, take time to calm yourself before talking to your child. If you yell at him or are visibly upset, your child may associate his punishment with your emotions, rather than his own actions.
