You've likely been caught in a position where you done something or said something that hurt another person's feelings--everyone has. The difference between respectful and disrespectful people is the way that you manage those tricky times with a friend or loved one. Apologizing like an adult is the only way to make things right, and even then, feelings may remain hurt. Do your best to make amends properly so that the ball is in your friend's court and forgiveness is the order of the day.
Step 1
Start and end with a positive statement, suggests Redbook magazine. Sandwiching your apology in between two positive statements can help take some of the edge off what you've done wrong. For instance, if you're apologizing for missing an important date, say that you're excited about your friend's upcoming party. Then add that you're sorry that you missed the date, but want to make amends.
Step 2
Acknowledge that what you did was wrong, urges Psychology Today. If a friend is really mad at you, he might immediately start telling you what you did wrong. To acknowledge it and give validation to his concerns may catch him off-guard enough to forgive you. Show remorse and make the apology heartfelt.
Step 3
Avoid making excuses for what you did. It's human nature to try to defend yourself by explaining what went wrong, but those excuses have no place in a proper apology. Too often excuses come off as a defensive rebuttal to the person that has been hurt. Just say you're sorry, and leave the apology at that.
Step 4
Find a way to make it right. An apology can seem empty when it is devoid of a way to make amends. Make sure that the punishment fits the crime. If you messed up at work, find a way to fix it or do extra work in the future. If you hurt your mom's feelings, send a little note or gift to let her know how much you appreciate her. Show that you're sorry, don't just say it.
Step 5
Accept the reaction. Depending on your offense, the person you've upset may not be ready to accept your apology. Just put it on the table, and if it isn't accepted, give some space. In another week or two you can try to reconnect to see if the storm has blown over and your friendship can resume again.
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