Recognizing an abusive relationship can help you, a friend or a family member get out of harm's way before serious physical injuries occur. Once you recognize that you are in an abusive relationship, the hard part is learning how to get out of it safely. Some people have an extremely hard time leaving relationships even when they know that they are harmful and unhealthy. If you need help due to an abusive relationship, contact a mental health professional or your local women's shelter.
Step 1
Look for little signs of abuse at the beginning of the relationship. Most of the time an abuser doesn't start physically or sexually abusing his partner right away. Emotional abuse and threats are usually the first signs that the relationship is unhealthy. If you're constantly afraid of angering your partner because he has an unpredictable temper and acts extremely jealous, you might be in an abusive relationship, or your partner might be starting to show signs of potential abuse.
Step 2
Ask yourself whether you feel nervous around your partner. It's normal to experience butterflies in your stomach when in a new relationship and when you want to impress your partner, but it's not healthy to feel nervous when you're just being yourself. For instance, in an abusive relationship, you might avoid certain topics, because you know that they might make your partner angry. You might censor what you say and how you act, because your partner won't approve.
Step 3
Figure out whether you share control in your relationship. When an imbalance of power exists, your partner might limit where you can go, who you can talk to and how you can dress. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel like they can make decisions. One partner shouldn't always have to ask the other person before doing simple things, such as calling a friend or buying a new tie. In abusive relationships, you may end up feeling isolated from your friends and family members over time and not have anyone to turn to for support.
Step 4
Determine whether your relationship is consistent or whether you have highs and lows. Every couple argues, but couples who are in abusive, unhealthy relationships experience extreme lows where they call each other names, break objects during fights and physically hurt each other. Many times, the abuser will blame the victim for the fight but later try to make up. For example, she might buy you presents and tell you that it will never happen again. The abuse becomes a cycle of fighting and making up.
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