Conflict is a given for any area of your life. Whether it's at home, in the office or with friends, disagreements and arguments can result in deep-rooted conflict in which neither party is willing to budge. A drawn-out conflict can hurt your prospects, make you look unprofessional and damage your relationships, so it's important to end conflict quickly and neatly, not allowing it to fester over time. With the help of a few steps, and opening your mind to the possiblility of engaging a mediator, you can find a solution that suits all sides.
Step 1
Agree with the other person on a time and place to meet and talk specifically about the conflict at hand, Chris Witt of Witt Communications says. Choose a neutral location where you're likely to keep your cool; meet at a public place such as a coffee shop or a casual restaurant.
Step 2
Stop fighting and trying to get your point across. Discard all arguments you've had prior to your meeting. Arguing and fighting will get you nowhere. If the other person has said rude or hurtful things while you've been at odds, forgive and forget in favor of coming together to find a real solution to the problem.
Step 3
Ask the other person to communicate with you about his thoughts and feelings on the subject. Listen without rebutting whatever the other person says, and look for the areas where you both agree. Don't interrupt or try to make excuses. Just listen in the hopes that the same courtesy will be extended to you when it's your turn. If you feel yourself getting angry or overheated, take a few deep breaths before continuing, suggests parent educator and family relationship coach Judy H. Wright.
Step 4
Brainstorm together at least three different solutions to your disagreement, trying to keep them as win-win as possible. In some situations, one person might naturally lose, but soften the blow by adding concessions to that solution. For instance, if two people are arguing over a project, at worst, "person A" gets to be the project manager, while "person B" gets another responsibility and is offered the project manager role on another project. Implement a time table for each solution that works for both sides.
Step 5
Bring in a third party or a neutral mediator to look over your choices of solutions and choose the one she thinks is most fair. That way, someone who has no personal interest in the original disagreement picks the best solution, allowing for no hurt feelings in determining the outcome and clearing the way for the conflict to end.
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