Family reunions, holidays and other events can seem miserable when you're saddled with well-meaning but controlling relatives. Whether it's your gossipy Aunt Gertrude or your meddling mother-in-law, controlling relatives have a way of inserting themselves into your life and presuming that they know what is best for you. A thick skin and a bright smile will go a long way in letting their comments roll off your back, but taking a strict stance on discussion of your life can stop the attempt for control altogether.
Step 1
Avoid hot button issues when with your relatives. Talking about politics, relationships, money and religion around your controlling relatives is practically an invitation to give their input about your lifestyle choices. Keep the conversation light, and opt to talk about family jokes and memories, rather than current events.
Step 2
Refuse to talk about personal details of your life. If your aunt is constantly prodding you about your love life and relationships, just politely say, "I'm sorry, that's personal and I don't want to talk about it." Then, steer the conversation into more neutral territory so that your controlling relatives don't even get the chance to weigh in about your life.
Step 3
Detach yourself from the conversation to avoid feeling upset or put off by your relatives' constant suggestions and orders, says Steve Kaye, Ph.D,. relationship coach for SideRoad.com. Make a conscious decision not be offended or ruffled when talking with your relatives. Know what to expect so they are unable to get under your skin.
Step 4
Avoid bickering with your relatives, suggests Gretchen Rubin of The Huffington Post. It can be easy to try to defend yourself, stoop to their level or say "no" when your controlling relatives try to order you around. Understand that there are some things about your relatives that no amount of discussion or arguing will change, and when the bickering starts, leave the situation.
Step 5
Confront your controlling relatives if all of your deflection tactics don't send the message you want it to. Some relatives think they are merely being well-meaning and don't realize how offensive their controlling behavior can be. Take a moment to pull your controlling relative aside and let her know that you'd appreciate it if she were less vocal about your choices.
