When your loved one dies, you and your family will experience grief and sadness. You may also feel relief, anger or guilt. Aside from your emotional and psychological reactions to your family member's death, you can also have physical reactions. You may see your mother, for example, shut herself off from others when your father passes away. A friend whose spouse has died may shut down emotionally or want to stay busy, always armed with a list of chores to be done. You may also want to reminisce about your deceased relative while other family members will refuse to talk about him. All these reactions are normal.
Step 1
Allow yourself to feel sadness or anger. These are common reactions to losing someone you loved. You may even be unable to keep still. Your body might need physical movement. Your reactions are normal. Go for a run if it will help you feel better.
Step 2
Call a friend or relative that you believe will understand how you are feeling. Acknowledge your feelings and talk to the person you called so you can start understanding what you are going through.
Step 3
Admit to feeling emotions, such as guilt or relief, that your loved one has died. If you and your relative had unresolved issues, experiencing guilt is a normal reaction, especially if the issues between you and your relative included misunderstandings or events that separated you. If you experienced relief on hearing of your relative's death, especially if she had been sick or terminally ill, realize that your relief comes from your love for your relative.
Step 4
Allow yourself the time you need to grieve and heal. You'll experience renewed feelings of grief months later, especially when a significant anniversary, birthday or holiday rolls around. You may have many weeks or months when you do not experience a high level of sadness. When your relative's birthday comes around, you may experience renewed feelings of loss. These feelings are all normal, according to Allina Hospitals and Clinics.
Step 5
Ask others for help, especially on days when your grief is stronger than on other days. Do not let others tell you that you "should" be healing more quickly. No two people handle grief in the same way. You'll handle your feelings more quickly or slowly than someone else, according to Allina Hospitals and Clinics.
Tips and Warnings
- If you begin to feel markedly sad or depressed, discuss this with someone and seek professional help. Don't try to make important decisions too soon. Seek experienced counsel from an attorney or financial adviser if you're not sure what to do.
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