Who among us couldn't stand to be delighted a little more often? Aren't we all seeking joy on one level or another? Of course. It is part of what it means to be human. Maybe that rush finds us in a simple, unexpected moment. Or, on another day, perhaps it pops up as a stress-induced situation resolves and fades away. Instead of waiting, however, for these fleeting, beautiful moments, consider the possibility that it is much more empowering to consciously work to bring joy actively into the everyday.
Step 1
Seek silence. "Do nothing for 15 minutes a day" is Martha Beck's first---and most important---rule in her book "The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices For A Happier Life." In other words, meditate. Close your eyes and do nothing aside from focus on your breathing. Watch trees outside your window blowing in the breeze instead of thinking. Get lost in drumming, dancing or other repetitive movements that help turn that brain off. Just give the inner voice a break and soak in some silence.
Step 2
Practice gratitude. Focusing on the positive in life and noticing how it multiplies is very powerful. Note where doing the opposite has stolen your peace, and then catch yourself next time it's about to happen. Harboring a sincere attitude of gratitude will invite more to be thankful for. Practice accepting things as they are right now---today---with no changes. That is the first step in dropping resistance and being mindful of one's blessings. Examine areas of your life in which things are going well and find opportunities to be grateful. Start, perhaps, with health, family, pets, nature, peace, friends, love and laughter---then acknowledge them. Consider getting on a roll and listing what you're grateful for in a daily gratitude journal.
Step 3
Foster optimism. Martin Seligman, Ph.D., best-selling author of the books "Authentic Happiness" and "Learned Optimism," writes that, "Optimistic people tend to interpret their troubles as transient, controllable, and specific to one situation. Pessimistic people, in contrast, believe that their troubles last forever, undermine everything they do, and are uncontrollable." Through extensive research, he was even able to draw correlations between optimism and longevity. Said another way, staying positive may very well prolong our lives. Challenge yourself to catch those negative thoughts early and then gently transform them. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Be gentle with yourself and others while keeping your thoughts positive and hopeful.
Step 4
Follow your bliss. In other words, take notice of what lights you up. Ask that inner child what her favorite foods are and then, within limits, eat them regularly. Note what environments relax you. If bookstores bring those shoulders down a foot, then make regular "play dates" with that inner child to go and soak in the atmosphere. Take a class in something you've always wanted to learn how to do. Take naps when you're tired. Take time out from being in charge, in control or in motion.
Step 5
Instill laughter into your daily routine. Laughter that is neither cruel nor ridiculing and that acts to access your playful side can be very healing. Dr. Annette Goodheart, a marriage, family and child counselor (and self-appointed laughter guru), goes so far as to tell us that laughing boosts our immune systems. It also increases, she says, both information retention and intellectual prowess. Healthy laughter can connect us, release tension and stress, and even balance out angry feelings. Treat yourself to regular books, movies or people that reliably leave you clutching your sides in laughter.
Step 6
Get connected. People need to feel that they're not alone in the world. Thrive by finding community connections and spiritually meaningful ties that uplift you. These can be in the form of friendships, communing with nature, volunteering, prayer, Internet relations, or building loving relationships with pets or plants.
Tips and Warnings
- Practice smiling at strangers and on the phone. Few things remind us that we're seen in the world more powerfully than being met with a smile. The reactions you illicit will be immediate and positive, not only for yourself but for the other person you're reaching out to. Consider enlisting someone you trust as your joy buddy. Agree to connect regularly and talk about the steps you're both taking to invite more pleasure and delight into your lives.
Things You'll Need
- Quiet room
- Journal
- Funny movies or books
- Friend, pet or plant
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