Relationships always include conflicts, but sometimes relationships cross the line and become abusive. Abuse can start gradually or quickly and can take the form of physical abuse or mental and emotional abuse. Abusive and coercive behavior is used to control a partner and can manifest in the forms of intimidation and isolation. Whether you're male or female and in a straight or gay relationship, it is important to know the signs of abuse. Denial and excuses are common for some people when dealing with abuse, especially emotional abuse, making them reluctant to seek help. Abusive partners commonly exhibit specific behaviors, and recognizing them can help you prevent or get out of an abusive relationship. Knowing the signs will also help you recognize whether people you know are in abusive relationships.
Jealousy
Everyone has the tendency to get a little jealous from time to time. But when you're spending time with friends or family and your partner gets jealous, the trait can be a warning sign of potential abuse. Jealousy displays can range from light complaints to anger.
Name Calling
When your partner disrespects you by calling you derogatory names, this is a sign of abuse. Your partner should show respect for you, but by calling you names he is degrading you and lessening your sense of worth.
Possessiveness
Opening your mail, checking your email, calling you several times when you're out, timing your outings or checking the call list on your cell phone is a sign of possessiveness. Being overly possessive and controlling is not healthy behavior from your partner.
Mood Swings
If little hiccups can quickly trigger strong emotions, especially anger, the mood swings can be warning signs. If you feel as though you have to be careful with the things you do or say around your partner for fear of setting her off, you are in an abusive relationship, because your partner is using fear to control you.
Manipulation
Guilt, shame, embarrassment and fear are all tools an abuser can use to manipulate. Making you feel as though you are stupid and can't function without him manipulates your feelings so you will stay in the relationship.
Excessive Control
The abuser will usually try to control every aspect of your life. She will try to control the finances, with whom you can talk, when and where you can go, how you look, how you dress and what you eat.
Forceful Sex
The abuser may use sex as a weapon for abuse and control. He will demand sex, pressure you into having sex at any time, ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable or even physically hold you down during sex.
Substance Abuse
The abuser may have a problem with substance abuse. She may be an alcoholic or addicted to drugs, and this addiction often reinforces or brings out the abuse in a relationship.
Threats
Control through threats is a form of abuse. The abuser can threaten you, your family or your friends. Physical threats are the most common, such as the abuser's threatening to hit or to harm you or the people you love. The abuser can also threaten to sabotage your other relationships or your job.
Violence
The most obvious sign of an abusive relationship is physical violence. If the abuser has a history of physical abuse, has been incarcerated for violent acts, has been cruel to animals or children, or has broken things in anger, then you should know that getting into a relationship with this person can likely lead to abuse.
Member Comments