Teens can feel enormous pressure as they make the transition from childhood to adulthood. When these demands are combined with the hormonal changes that take place during puberty, it's no wonder tempers flare from time to time. Anger is a normal human emotion, but when it's out of control, it can have a negative effect on your life and the lives of others. The ability to deal with negative feelings in a healthy manner begins with a willingness to become skilled at anger management.
Identify Your Triggers
The next time you feel anger coming on, stop and observe what you are thinking and feeling. Developing self-awareness is key to learning your triggers and getting a handle on what is causing you feel angry. Notice what set off your feelings, and specifically identify the reason you are so mad and upset. Perhaps you are angry because your parents want you to do some chores around the house before you are allowed to visit a friend.
Stop and Think
Once you identify what is making you angry, take a few moments to think before you act. Developing self-control can keep you from making a split-second decision based solely on your emotions. Take several slow, deep breaths as you contemplate the likely outcome of an unrestrained negative reaction--think about what the probable outcome of letting go of your frustrations. Ask yourself if the negative consequences of resisting your parents' demands are really worth it.
Act Responsibly
If your feelings of anger persist, remove yourself from the maddening situation. Walk away the person, place or thing that is causing you to feel angry. If you have your driver's license, don't get behind the wheel; driving when you are angry can place you and other innocent people in harm's way. If you feel an overpowering urge to use violence or a weapon, seek out help immediately. Dial 911 or visit a hospital emergency room.
Take a Time Out
Going for a walk or run can help clear your thoughts, boost your mood and diminish feelings of anger. Listening to music also can lift your spirits. If you absolutely cannot get a negative thought out of your mind, try to distract yourself by watching a TV program you love, playing one of your favorite video games or going to a movie.
Express Yourself
Keeping journal about your feelings can get them out of your mind and down on paper or onto a computer screen. Find someone you can trust to share your feelings with. Perhaps you can speak to a school counselor or a trusted relative. You may discover that you have feelings of sadness or fear underneath your anger. Learning how to control your anger during adolescence, instead of allowing it to control you, can build your self-esteem and improve the quality of your life.
