Jealousy is a powerful and destructive emotion often experienced when you believe someone else has a higher status than you do, or possesses something that you deeply desire. The experience of jealousy is a normal aspect of human life and nothing to be concerned about, if it occurs in small amounts. Jealousy can, however, affect your relationships and enjoyment of life if you do not actively try to minimize it.
Trust
Though jealousy is a normal response in specific situations, it is not healthy to be suspicious of the intentions of a partner or friend without having any real reason for being that way. The biggest problem that jealousy can create, in fact, is breaking the trust that is already established in any kind of relationship. When you start to notice yourself feeling jealous, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that your partner or friend is in your life for a reason. Think of times when the person you are feeling jealous of has said or done something that demonstrated why he is in a friendship or other kind of relationship with you. Try to honor your relationship by having faith in the trust you have in each other.
Recognize Fears
Jealousy is also caused by feelings of threat and insecurity. When your partner or friend, for example, has someone new in her life, it is easy to fear that you are being rejected and replaced. When this happens, it is a good idea to really examine this. If your partner or friend has not told you that you are not meeting her needs in some way, it should not concern you that she has a new friend. This means you are coming face-to-face with your own insecurities. If you wonder why your partner or friend likes you, reflect on the reasons she is interested in and likes you. Try to determine what scares you the most: the fear of abandonment or being cheated on. Recognizing and understanding your fears can greatly help with minimizing jealousy. If you have trouble doing this by yourself, talk with a counselor or a trusted family member or friend.
Enhancing Your Self-Esteem
One you come to terms with your fears and understand how they influence your feelings of jealousy, try to eliminate these insecurities as a way of enhancing your self-esteem. The University of Texas at Austin states that poor self-esteem is not merely about how you feel about yourself in the current moment, but how you feel about yourself as a whole. Feeling jealous of other people's successes can sometimes be a reminder of your own failures, which can cause more feelings of jealousy and perpetuate an unhealthy cycle. Try to break this cycle by focusing on your positive characteristics. Ask your partner or friend what they like about you. Try also writing down positive affirmations and posting them in a place you'll see them often, like on your bathroom mirror or in an assignment book.
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