It can be challenging to assess the health of a relationship when you are in it. In relationships, affection shifts and changes, but just as there are symptoms that warn us of medical problems, it is helpful to be able to notice and identify the top signs of danger in a relationship.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is defined as any violence or physical force that results in pain, bodily injury or impairment. Signs of physical abuse include bruises, sprains, broken bones, burns, and signs of significant tooth and hair loss. There are also behavioral indications of physical abuse, such as a victim not being able to explain her injuries or having implausible explanations of them. A victim and her family members might give you different explanations of her injuries. A victim of physical abuse might also have a history of a certain kind of injury and many suspicious hospitalizations.
Disrespect
Disrespect is a major sign of danger in a relationship because respect is one of the foundations of any positive relationship. Even if disrespect does not occur in overt, physical ways (such as one spouse hitting or sexually abusing the other), there are subtle but powerful forms of disrespect to be aware of in a relationship. Noticing that one spouse rolls his eyes when the other speaks, uses a lecturing, patronizing tone of voice or calls the other names are all signs of disrespect. Another sign of disrespect is when one partner makes nonnegotiable announcements that do not allow for the other person's input.
Constant Criticism and Defensiveness
Another sign of danger in a relationship is when one spouse gets upset with the other and complains about him. The other spouse then responds defensively by justifying why he's right or giving her a response that begins with "yes, but." This causes the first spouse to become even more critical and angry, making the second spouse all the more defensive. This cycle of criticism and defensiveness can lead to a great deal of frustration in a relationship and damages not only the relationship, but each spouse's self-esteem.
More Bad Times than Good Ones
In relationships, it is true that both partners must take the good with the bad. When there are more bad times and memories, however, it is difficult to heal the relationship and benefit from it in any way. It takes many more good experiences to counteract the negative ones. And if one negative experience (of, say, physical or sexual abuse) is particularly bad, it can take just one incident to destroy the trust in a relationship.
