Parenting can be a very challenging task, one that seems to have a never-ending learning curve. Parenting requires a lot of patience and comes more naturally to some than others. Fortunately, some positive parenting skills can be learned by anyone over time and with continuous, daily practice.
Have Clear Behavioral Expectations
According to AllPsych Journal, before you can effectively discipline your child, you must first let your child know what your expectations are for his behavior. Brainstorm and write down the expectations you and your spouse have for your children, including how you would like them to behave in social, academic, family and religious situations. You can also write down some expectations for your children's personal appearance and hygiene. Determine what the consequences will be when your children do not follow your expectations. Once you have clearly informed your children of the age-appropriate expectations you have for them, model these behaviors yourself. For example, if you want your children to be ready by a certain time in the morning, make sure you are ready at least 15 minutes before this time. Follow through on implementing the consequences you have determined for each expectation you have of your children, as consistency is the foundation of maintaining clear expectations.
Remain Calm In Stressful Situations
This skill is challenging to execute all the time, but is powerful in demonstrating to your children that you are in control of any situation that arises. You can practice yoga or meditation regularly, pray or do any kind of ritual that helps ground and center you to stay in the present moment to develop this skill. By not reacting as much or as strongly in stressful situations, you can figure out what the most appropriate, logical and compassionate solution is to any problem. Decreasing your reactivity will encourage your children to stay calm in trying times as well.
Provide Your Children Appropriate Praise
Praising children helps them develop emotionally, just as food enables them to do so physically. When praising your children, develop the ability to make your praise realistic and specific, based on certain actions your child performs that you approve of. Providing such specific praise enables your children to develop self-confidence and naturally encourages them to continue to perform the kinds of actions that earn them praise. Children need attention, which is often the main reason they behave badly. By encouraging them when they behave well, you can help them develop positive habits as they grow up. Make sure to not praise your child too much (as this could cause them to develop arrogance), but do praise him enough (as lack of praise can cause your child to develop poor self-esteem).
References
- AllPsych: Parenting Skills
- The Power of Positive Parenting : A Wonderful Way to Raise Children; Glenn Latham; 1994
