When it comes to their emotional and psychological well-being, children want the same things adults do, such as love, affection, support, forgiveness, respect, physical boundaries and attention. To communicate effectively with children, it is thus important for parents to remember to put themselves in their children's shoes to consider what you would want if you found yourself in a similar situation to your child's. According to Dr. John Gray's "Children Are From Heaven," usually when children do not cooperate with you, they are expressing a need to feel understood and loved by you.
Step 1
Say what you mean and mean what you say when you communicate with your children. Try to avoid saying "no" unless you really mean "no." For example, if your child wants to eat a piece of chocolate and you want him to wait until after dinner to do so, say "Yes, after dinner you may," instead of saying "no." Do not give in if he insists on having the chocolate before dinner, however, as this can undermine what you say in the future.
Step 2
Be clear with your expectations of your children. Communicate these expectations lovingly to your them, along with the consequences they will face for not following your expectations -- and follow through on those consequences.
Step 3
Be patient when communicating with your children. Use vocabulary they can easily comprehend. Try to be brief and direct when you speak to them, and avoid analogies that can cloud meaning.
Step 4
Avoid being sarcastic with your children. Do not say "Oh, great!" when something negative occurs, as this can confuse your child when he is learning how to communicate about what is going on around him.
Step 5
Listen carefully to your children. Try to understand what is in between the lines of what they communicate to you by reading their body language and listening to their tone of voice. Do not interrupt your children when they speak; this will more likely ensure that they will do the same to you.
Step 6
Communicate how much you love your children as often as possible, through both your words and actions. Write your children small notes and place them in their lunch bags when they go to school in the morning. Give them hugs often and tell them how much you appreciate them for all their positive qualities.
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